I Have Found My Vice and He Smells Like Coffee and Dust
by wowgurluworkit
Summary: Four has flourished and fought within the Dauntless faction for the last year. He has made friends, found a place to live, made himself a place and a home among the other Dauntless. He was challenged in ways he was never challenged. He learned how to be himself and also keep his secrets. Now it is time for another challenge. One he has no experience in. Or Four falls in love
1. Chapter 1

It was nearing 11 o'clock and Four was walking through a deserted hall to his small apartment when he discovered him, lying on the ground bleeding from his nose. Four's stomach turned a bit at the smell of the blood, but when he looked at the scene before him, all he thought was "My god he's dead. Oh god who did this?"

Eric, was in fact not dead, because his head turned fast, scaring the ever-loving shit out of Four. He muttered something under his breath before passing out again. Four thoughts about leaving him there, maybe grabbing Zeke if he wasn't too plastered and showing him the fallen leader that they hated. He hated Eric, no doubt about it, but he couldn't just leave him there. He thought maybe it was his abnegation side still kicking at him, making him pick him up by the shoulder and supporting him.

"God your heavy." Four said, making his way up the steps that lead to Eric's apartment. It wound past his own and to the right, down some stairs and there it was. He knew the way from watching through the cameras hanging from just about every corner of these halls. He finally found his door and was relived to find that it was left unlocked.

The apartment was very clean, something that didn't come naturally for the dauntless. There was small table next to the door that looked like it was for change and keys. Above that there was a mirror that Four made sure to consider quickly. He looked like a mess, as pre-usual after a party on a Friday. The living room was clean with papers on the coffee table and blankets on the couch. Dauntless life didn't support this sort of order. It was more about doing as much with your life as possible. It meant running out, leaving dirty clothes in the sink and breakfast dishes in the bed room. It means late nights and leaving the mess to later. It was a life Four had yet to adopt completely.

He found Eric's bedroom door wide open. It was clean too, and smelled like Eric in an odd way. Not like cologne, but a bit sweet and soft. Four finally let Eric lie down with a huff, muscles tired after carrying the guy for almost 20 minutes. Four had checked Eric's head for any sign of concussion without finding any evidence. He was breathing fine and with the stench of alcohol on his breath showed he had probably gotten drunk and into a fight and needed to sleep it off. Four stood straight again and looked over the passed-out man before him.

It was jarring to see Eric like this. Sleeping made him look younger. With out his smirk of a smile or glare he looked like he was just another man.

Four looked away quickly. He should get out of here quick. Don't wanna get caught in the youngest leader's bedroom in a state like this would you? Just the thought of what the gossip might end up as both frightened him and made him blush. What would they think?

"Well I'm not going to find out for myself." he thought, turning to punctuate the resolution. Four had just stepped out the door and was about to close it when he heard a low, raspy voice call his name. It made him think about singers in bars, talking about things that he wasn't really interested in, but voices showed souls of sadness, betrayal, and jealousy. He looked back to find, Eric sat up and squinting at him. Four went ridged, ready to get drunkenly shouted at to get out of Eric's home. That didn't come though. Just a bit of grunting as he wiped a bit of blood form his nose which had finally stopped bleeding.

"I found you in a hall." Four didn't know why he was explaining. Eric would probably forget by the time he woke up that morning. "You were passed out and I didn't want to have you dying from a concussion on my chest. What were you even doing there?"

"I- I don't know. All I remember is getting drunk at the bar. The rest is gone."

"Odd. You don't strike me as someone who blacks out. Well, sleep it off. I'll go." Four turned, his body eclipsing the soft yellow light of the hall.

"Four. Wait, come here." His voice was rough, almost desperate. He probably needed some water. Eric stared at the other man that made the air around Four feel odd, like it was thrumming around him. Upon orders, he walked to Eric. He could tell by his face that he was still plastered, and wasn't exactly in his right mind. His eyes wavered from Four's looking down at his chin and lips. He had think eyebrows, Four though absently, dark and expressive. He took a knee to be eye level with the more brutal man.

"Tell me Four, why can't I ever get close to you like this. It's nice" His words slurred, and his breath was tinged with alcohol.

"I don't know. You kind of act like a dick?" He smiled at that, ready to get smacked or something of the like. Eric just laughed though. Four's stomach reeled a bit. Something about the way he was being looked at made the odd feeling intensify.

"You're blushing." Eric's voice was deeper, and made Four's chest vibrate with it. "Do you like being close to me?" Four gulped. It was all too much. It was a thrumming of air in his lungs. Over powering. Eric put his hand on Four's arm. Making himself bigger around him. He smelled him. Eric's hands where hot and his cheeks and ears where red. Eric's hand gripped him tighter. This seemed to shock Four out of his stupor.

He shot up and took a big step back. Eric looked like he had been slapped in the face. They stood in silence for a moment like the sound after a gun shot. Four feels back into his body and walked out of the room. He speeds out of the apartment, ran through the halls, sprinted past his apartment. He ran until his lungs and legs couldn't deal with it. Even when his body couldn't run, his mind was at a full sprint trying to make sense of what had just transpired. Eric had defiantly been trying to do something back there. Something that made his head spin. It was something that Four had never experienced in all his 17 years.

After he caught his breath and thoughts, he looked around. He was standing in a deserted ledge above The Pit where he could look out over the heads of the dauntless. He leaned against the wall and rubber the heels of his hands on his face. His face was blazing hot. Even the tip of his nose felt warm

His head was oddly quiet then. Like he had out run the thoughts and was left at the edge of oblivion. It was peaceful, and he remembered that he was planning to go home that night and started back. As he walked, Four cringed at the thought of trying to face Eric the next day in at breakfast. But soon he was in his bed and sleep took him into her warm arms.

 **Hiya y'all, I already wrote this and posted it but that was in May … it's now almost January. I really liked the idea of this story, but there wasn't, well, much of a story. I fixed it so here it is!**

 **I'm still in love with this idea of Four and Eric and I'll actually want to keep this up! so please review.**

 **-Gracie**


	2. I need an adult

Eric wasn't breakfast the morning after, which both relieved and made Four more anxious. Zach even joked about how Four was being even more stoic than usual. Four came back with a quick quip as always. Four watched the black clad people talk, cry and laugh in the high-ceilinged room. What could be better than this? He thought this, but still felt a small sense of loneliness around him.

Four went to work which, as was the usual, fun. People acting suspicious, people acting stupid, people working. Nothing surprising. He did see Eric and he made sure to take notice of what he was doing. He had been walking down a hallway. His face was littered with bruises. This made Four cringe a bit, feeling the other man's pain twinge in himself. That was something he couldn't seem to stop. Even knowing how terrible Eric could treat someone, he just couldn't feel nothing when he knew what the pain felt like. He wondered if this was considered weakness to Dauntless.

By the time he got off work, Four was antsy. He hadn't been able to talk to Eric about last night, something he knew would help him, even if Eric could be an angsty cunt sometimes. He wanted to know if he remembered anything. He didn't know what was worse; knowing that Eric saw him blush and run away, or that Eric had no idea and Four would be left with this memory of Eric's smirking face without any resolve. He had once heard that people are really themselves when they are drunk. They have less inhibitions, less secretive. Four was unsure about that. Usually when he was drunk he was just a dumbass. But he couldn't help but wonder if Eric had meant what he said. So, strictly for closure, he was going to find Eric and talk to him with purpose.

He walked through the Pit with Zeke and Uriah as they talked about some girls they were plotting for and talking about how they wanted to go on a date with the same girl, when Four first spotted him. Standing around with a group of other dauntless staring at him. Four looked over at Uriah as he hoped that he would stop the red rising to his face. After a few minutes he glanced back over where Eric was. He was gone. Four scoured the immediate surroundings. Eric was nowhere to be seen. It was like he was never there in the first place.

"Hey! It's almost eight! We've got to meet the Ari and Lexa!" Zach exclaimed.

"Damn already? We better go, they'll be pissed if we're late. Later Four!" The brothers ran off, leaving Four behind. Four felt the need to go somewhere. Somewhere out of the open. It was a nervous energy he knew well. He felt it when his father got home, and even though he wasn't angry, he knew he shouldn't be in the room with him. He knew it was illogical, Four felt like he was being watched by Eric on at all sides. He decided to go hang out at the bar.

He didn't get to the bar though. He was walking through a hall on his way to grab a drink when something shoved him from behind and into a dark, unused meeting room.

"What the fuck?" Four's voice cracked.

"I should be asking you that." Eric, red faced and seething, kept his voice down, but it was still filled with tense and deep anger. Four felt it in his bones.

"What?! What did I do?" Four asked, voice steadier.

"You Tried to seduce me last night. You were in my bedroom!" Seduce? What?

"What the- I found you lying in a hallway blacked out and bleeding! What was I supposed to do?" Four noticed Eric's eyebrow piercings glimmering in the low light. His eyes were piercing and seemed black in this light.

"Leave me there!"

"What?! Eric I couldn't just do that!" Four's chest heaved. Eric was quickly shoving him into a corner. Literally and figuratively. He was literally pressing closer to him into a corner.

"What dauntless wouldn't? Unless they had some alternative motives. Like seduction."

"Okay, come on, I'm not a sociopath Eric!" Finally done with the man's behavior, Four shouted at him.

"Say my name one more time Four." Eric's voice was eerily calm like he was just having a normal conversation It was a challenge. It put Four under some kind of spell, calming him as well. Not entirely though. There was something hanging in the air that he did not quite understand. Eric was staring at him intensely, there was a question in his eyes. Four now realized how close he was to Eric. Their noses were only a few inches apart and he could feel the breath on his lips. The air turned electric like it did the night before. they were all too close, but he wanted to be closer.

"Eric, I-" Four didn't know if he was going to spit in his face or apologize when Eric's watch beeped. All the tension in the room went away at that moment and he became hyper aware of everything else, the desk and the chairs, even the dust in the air. Eric stood straight and scoured down at his watch.

"I have to go, meetings and … all that. Don't think this is over Four." He gripped Four's arm before pushing away and out of the room. With the whoosh of air, the door closed the room and Four was, once again, left alone to his thoughts. He thought about going after him, but after checking the hall he could tell he was long gone. Anyway, he would probably be surrounded by people and he did not want to have any sort of conversation with Eric with people around to hear.

He pulled himself back in the room, closing the door behind him. Leaning against the door, Four rubbed his face with the heels of his hands. He suddenly felt like he was going to faint and slide down to sit with his scarlet face in his hands and to wonder what would have happened if they had continued. Damn he needed a drink.

 **(A/N: Guess who's back guys. Hello!)**


	3. The Training Room

It had been a week before the next incident occurred, and Four was almost calm again. He had reasoned that Eric had somehow forgotten about everything and that they were going to focus on their own work and never ever speak of it. Anyway, it was a month before the new initiates were to come in, and as this was his first time leading the training, Four was working his ass to get everything prepared. With all this happening he was stressed out, so one night he decided against hanging out with his friends to go to the one place he felt in control. The training room.

The room smelled like shoes and sweat, the dark walls seemed to emit a warmth that seemed to embody the Dauntless headquarters. Four had just finished a round of kicks when he heard the door open behind him. He turned and froze. There, standing a few meters away, was Eric. He seemed odd to Four, the man with his usually cold expression was now a smirk with a crinkle in his brow. The room's light gave his face a sinister glow to it, making shadows of teeth and eyes. Four found this rather intimidating and now the fact that he was going to have to probably deal with whatever Eric had in plan for him gave him goose bumps.

"Hello Four," Eric walked to him. "I think it's about time we've finished that chat we had a few days ago.

"Oh really?" Four tried to keep his voice from cracking. He was conflicted. He wanted to say a lot of things. He wanted to ask why Eric wanted to talk to him like this? Why does he look at Four like he was his was a hunk of meat? Why does he make the air around Four go electric? Why does Four want more? He thought of this as Eric walked closer, arms behind his back and black jacket billowing behind him.

"Yes Four. You know when I woke up last week, I didn't remember much in the morning, but I did remember you, in my bed room, very close to me. Almost as close as we are right now."

Four forgot to breath as the space between Eric and himself finally disappeared. The

electricity in the air transferred in that moment into his skin, clashing and popping. Eric tasted like... mouth. Which as Four thought back to later, should have been gross, but it wasn't. He tasted like bread too. Four had a death grip on Eric's shoulder before going limp there. Eric held Four's jaw and lead the kiss, biting his Four pressed unconsciously against Eric. Four had kissed girls before, usually after an awkward double date, and it had never been like this. It had never made his heart beat out of his chest or make him feel so flushed. The sparks flew up his spine making him feel like he could catch on fire at any time. It was the feeling of looking on top of a high place without the immense dread. Even if now he could feel himself making a weird face as he tried to keep his lips as close to Eric as possible.

And _oh,_ was it _addicting._

The room was so quiet and peaceful, it was like it was in a completely different planet from the rough and screaming dauntless he had been living in for a year. It was just him and Eric. Privately snogging. It felt natural to him to have it be here, where they first got the chance to fight, the first times Four was able to fight someone. All of that was against Abnegation code. So was what he was doing now.

He never had someone slide their hands up his back and into his hair. He had never been able to touch someone so much of someone so freely. To hold an arm. To put a hand in someone's hair. To put his hands on someone's hip because it just felt right. It should have been awkward, the way they were grabbing at each other.

Eric pushed him against the wall and started to kiss along his neck. Four felt like the

electricity snapped in him with this, shocking him so much he actually moaned.

"Eric..."

"Mmm." Eric bit his ear. Fours hands gripped Eric's sides. Four was feeling ballsy, and flipped them over so Eric was against the wall. Four finally had him in his grasp. He was there and Four could deal with these confusing feelings.

Well he would have been able to. Just then there was a loud bang from outside the training room. They quickly separated, panicking as they thought of the prospect of someone seeing them in that sort of...situation. They both had just fixed their hair as the door opened with a bang as the laughter and of a group of other dauntless came in. They all stopped as they spotted the pair.

"Hey Eric," A tall beefy man, probably in his mid-twenties came up and clapped him on the shoulder. "Watcha' doin' here? We've been lookin around for you for ages!" The man was speaking with a noticeable slur and the group of six behind him was being consumed by giggles as they drunkenly pushed each other.

"I was just discussing some things with the new initiate trainer. Eric waved a hand in the general direction of Four.

"tch," the man chided like a mother to a child. "You work too hard, take a break. Come with us. Get drunk and be young!"

"I will Philli. You guys go ahead. I'll catch up after I finish somethings here."

Philli sighed, probably wanting his friend to come with him. "Fine, but hurry before we forget all about you. Then all you'll have is ya work."

"Get going Philli." The group bustled out and they were gone as fast as they were there. Eric waited until the group had left the hall and the room had quieted before turning back to Four. He sprung on the other man, crashing himself into another burning kiss. Four was just about to have his legs give out under him when Eric pulled away.

"This is _not_ over. You will come to my apartment next Monday night after dinner at the hall." He pressed one last burning kiss onto Four's cheek, "You know where that is." He smiled and with that he swooped out of the dusty room, leaving Four alone and wanting more.

"You bastard." Four mumbled to himself, before grabbing his water from the bench. As he sat down to rest and recuperate he found himself in a solid state of dread. What has he gotten himself into?

 **(Authors note: What up bitches, guess who has been on a yearlong journey of self-care and change? THIS CUNT! I many not be a better person or any less of a mess of a human being, but I have fewer shits and better fashion sense! So here I am! Hope you enjoy it, make sure if you do you leave a comment so we can have a nice chat! – Gracie)**


	4. ERIC NEEDS AN ADULT

**(TW for some violence, be safe guys)**

Four had been stressed about Monday all week, and he knew his friends could tell. Zeke had been bothering him about it, telling him that he didn't want Four to die young, so he better just relax. That's what he was doing as they walked to work that afternoon. And during his shift. And on his breaks. Truth be told Four was kind of over it. It was made worse because he was starting to think he was obsessed with the thought of Monday and Eric. He would be thinking of him whenever he had a spare moment.

So, like every other time he was stressed about something, like having nightmares about his father, he would throw himself into his work. Getting ready for the initiates was a hassle and was a great distraction. Maybe too great of a distraction. He would spend hours talking with so many different people who oversaw so many different things that he couldn't keep them all straight. Everyone wanted the new batch of Dauntless to be useful to them and them specifically. He would often get little to no sleep.

Four was not one to deal with lack of sleep well.

He needed his eight hours, that was that. So after spending most of the night working and three hours of sleep Four was a zombie at an early Sunday shift at the control room. It was hard to deal with looking at screens and not feeling like his head was going to fall onto the keyboard.

What kept him up was getting to watch the Dauntless as they worked, played and lived. Even after almost a year of looking at these people it was still like looking at a subject in a jar. He watched the tattoo artist named Novi walk to the parlor, the guy who ran the clothing shop, the kid who balances on the safety bar near the pit who always gave Four a heart attack. It was even weirder to see these people out and about. Like he spent his time stalking these people and now they were asking if he could hand them something from the top shelf of a store. It was nice though. He felt connected to these people even if he couldn't seem to be like that normally. Not like everyone else.

In his bored sleep deprived mind he was haunted by questions he wanted to ask Eric. The most prominent one was 'what am I to you? Boyfriend? Lover? Friends with benefits? Enemies with benefits?' It made his heart swell with, something, whatever it was. It also made him question other things. Like what was most Dauntless' idea of same sex romance? Back in Abnegation it was seen as a normal thing. Not even discussed, although it was normal not to think of romance or anything like that. That was to self-indulgent. Although he did meet a few two woman and two men couples. There were some who thought that same sex couples had a special role to play in their society, just like everyone else. They were to take in orphans of Abnegation, those whose parent died, take them into their home and raise them as their own. Most same sex couples were seen as extremely selfless individuals. But could Dauntless be different? He had seen many straight couples, but almost none that differed from that. Would they be seen as less courageous?

He wasn't bored all day though. It was about 10 am , and he was just going through the normal panels when he saw him. Walking out of a room with two other people was Eric. Four felt off about the situation. The two men weren't the usual people Eric. The looked...tense. Like he was fighting back the need to run. Then one of the men punched Eric to the ground. The other one had kicked him twice by the time Four had shouted for the attention of his manager.

"Sweet Jesus. You and Ezekiel go help him ."

Four was out of his seat before he finished his sentence.

They sprinted down the maze of hallways. Four was on panic mode. He had seen Eric get the shit beat out of him before, but this was different in so many ways. This was outside of initiation and it was two on one. Not at all a fair match. Against everything Amar taught him. 'Jesus he's gonna get his ass kicked.' Four thoughts to himself as he rounded the corner. He sprinted faster than he usually would in these situations. He and Zeke were often the ones called to break up fights and attacks when they happened.

"God, your fast," Zeke gasped as he caught up to him. "Why are you to rushed? It's just Eric."

"Just Eric? Zeke what the hell? He is getting attacked!" Four felt his gut tighten in a spark of anger . What was wrong with him.

"I bet he had it coming."

"Had it-no we are not having this conversation." Four sprinted into the hallway he saw the two men standing above Eric. What he saw made his heart hurt, and his stomach churn. Eric was curled up on the ground, and bleeding a lot from his face which he was shielding from the men's feet from kicking in his nose. The men began to run. Four could tell be where they were running, was going to be crowded, they could disappear with the other men easily.

"Go with them Zeke! I'm taking Eric to the infirmary." Four called after his friend who was long gone after the goons. Four grimaced down at Eric before taking his arms away from his blood stained face. Eric flailed.

"Eric, Eric. Hey. You're okay." Four tried to be reassuring as he put a cloth on Eric's nose which was bleeding profusely. Eric's eyes looked puffy, probably from getting punched in the face so many times. "Time to get up. Got to get you help." He wrapped his arm around Eric's limp body for the second time in two weeks. He took a few steps before Eric lost he balance and wrapped both arms around Four's shoulders. They stayed like that, letting Eric catch his breath for a moment.

"Damn," Four cursed as he rushed to the infirmary with his bleeding...someone who is important to him. God, he wanted some answers after he got some medical help.

Four doubted anyone who could comfortably sit in a waiting room of a hospital. He felt a desperate need to move around, but he just kept sitting and tapping his foot on the glossy floor even after the middle age, Dauntless nurse tutted at him. He wondered why he was even there in the first place. What would people think of him? Would they get the impression that Eric and he would be closer than what they presented themselves as?

What should they present themselves as? A couple? Four was usually more conservative about these things. That was just the way he had been told to be from as far as he can remember. But what about his friends? What about Shauna? What would she think if she knew he liked the guy she though they both hated? He knew she would probably be accepting, but what about others?

Dating a dauntless leader was no small thing. Rumors would be flying before the end of the day that anyone learned about it. If they came right out there would be a big deal about it. It they kept it secret and it got out, it would be a huge scandal which he did not need when he was going to be instructing the initiates at the same time.

At nine pm Four left the infirmary and headed back to his apartment to try to get some sleep, his head spinning with even more questions. Questions like, why would Eric, one of the leaders who barely enough time in office had to do anything controversial yet, be attacked.

 **(Authors note: Yo yo yo. I hoped you liked the whole thing that I did here. I've got the afternoon off so here is a new part of the story. Make sure you comment on this, and I'll be sure to comment back)**

 **Peace & Love**

 **-Gracie)**


	5. We talk and we date

Four leaned against the cold tiles of his shower. Monday night, not really knowing what to do. He was trying to come to some sort of conclusion. Go visit Eric, who had went home the night before from the infirmary, or stay home. After seeing him get everything beat out of him until he was unconscious made him see Eric in a different light entirely. He seemed so much more human to him than he once thought about how bruised he looked when he saw him around.

"Damn." He muttered to himself, as he thought about Eric's arms and the busies that littered them. those reminded him of the way he was kicked and over whelmed.

This brought up more thought of what Eric was. He knew him as cruel, ruthless, and petty for the longest time. The way he acted to almost everyone and even him. Now that he saw another part of him that he has never seen before. A more vulnerable one. One that he wanted to get to know better. What else of this new part of him? Why was Four so interested in this part?

Four knew why. He wanted to get to see more of the hidden part that Eric presented to him, and he wanted to show a shadowed part of himself also. He wanted to tell him secrets and to have Eric tell him secrets. He wanted Eric to feel comfortable around him. Safe with each other. Safer than with any other people. He wanted him to tell things to him on his own volition. To tell him about everything. About his life, what made his heart ache, what he felt like when he left Erudite, what he thought about during initiation. Four wanted to know when Eric started to feel things towards him. And Four wanted to tell Eric things too.

Suddenly he felt like all his secrets were trapped in his chest just wanting to fly out, and be heard. He wanted to tell him about the fear simulations, his fears, his tattoo, his father even. Over everything, over all the word and emotions, there was a deep primal need to trust him and be trusted by him. All of this came over him and he squared his shoulders. He needed to talk to him.

With that in mind he checked his reflection in the mirror (still and odd practice to do for him even after so long of being told it was a sign of weakness.) and made his way out of the apartment.

It was an unnerving walk across the dauntless compound. Four even almost walked back to his apartment once or twice, but he kept thinking of that word. Trust. And that fueled his fire to keep going.

He knocked on the door to the apartment three doors down the hallway with the number 1164. Eric open the door and Four felt a huge pull of pity in his stomach as he saw his bruised face. His nose was better, but still brown and orange. He had a black eye that was healing quickly but still looked painful. His lip was cut and a little puffy.

"Hello Four." His voice was rugged and sent shivers of excitement up Four's spine. "Won't you come in?" With a flourish, he motioned him in. Eric looked very relaxed, in a black t shirt and jeans. He had taken out some of his piercings, and Four could see a couple of tattoos he had never seen before on his arms. He had also pulled his hair up into a low ponytail, his dark hair like ink dripping down his back.

They walked to the kitchen where Eric had seemed to set up camp there. There was paperwork stacked on the table, a coffee pot staying warm on a burner on the counter and an open sketch pad. Four didn't take Eric as an artistic type. There was a half drawn picture surrounded by notes.

"Want some coffee?" Eric offered. Pulling a mug from one of the overhead cabinets.

"Sure," Four felt weird, seeing Eric , shoulders loose, and back arched a bit, was weird. And yet it was oddly endearing. "Do you live alone?"

"No, I have two roommates."

"Oh where are they?" It made sense, most dauntless liked having friends around all the time. In abnegation it was unheard of. People stayed with their families or alone. 'Plutonic relationships didn't have lives built around them like they did in Abnegation' Four thought, taking a sip of the bitter drink.

"Tell me Four, do you always ask so many questions with your lovers?" Eric asked his lips turning crookedly up. Four 's cheeks and ears began to feel warm.

"Well- I guess- um-" Four was off about the whole feeling of this. He was actually privately speaking with Eric. Without having to worry about being caught. It reminded him of love poems from school, where they would say their heart fluttered. He always thought that was just pretty words on paper, but now they were happening to him. He was almost tipsy from it.

And did he call him his lover? What was this? A shitty fanfiction?

"They're at a meeting. One that I, thankfully, don't need to be at. They won't be home until late." Eric was smiling, and even with his cut lip he looked pretty nice. His teeth were white and crooked, from fighting probably. He still held this edge to him though. Cheekbones sharp, his many piercings shining and eyes bright. Four liked it. Eric got his own mug of coffee, and then let from the floor to sit on the counter. Four was a bit amused by this.

"So, how's your face." Four slapped himself internally. That sounded so stupid to him, but Eric laughed out loud.

"Better than it looks. I was given some medicine to help speed up the healing process. I do have to be at a meeting with some other faction leaders this week, and I really want to make sure I look like I don't get into fights every day." This struck Four as odd.

"Huh, I never thought you to be the type to care about looks, with all the, um" Four gestured to his face. Eric smirked.

"Piercings are a part of Dauntless culture. Without tattoos or piercings we would just benormal people who wear black. It differentiates us." Eric sighed and took a swig of coffee. "But I really don't want to keep up a stereotype of a young reckless dauntless only willing to settle fights with his fists. If I do, then the other faction leaders will have a hard time not just taking me seriously, but my whole fraction as well."

Four stared. He didn't really know what he expected. Probably not that long and thought provoking answer.

"Why should you care about your image? Shouldn't people just take you for your actions? What you look like shouldn't play a part in that."

"Well, that would be good if it worked like that, but it doesn't. Everyone makes split second decisions and ideas about a person when they first see them. They can't stop it. It's something everyone does without thinking. It isn't exactly bad, just not helpful at times."

"Wow, where did you learn that? I mean, I've never heard anything like that in school."

"Well," Eric scratched the back of his neck, and Four noticed a large scrape under his upper arm.

"My uncle was a business physiologist. When he made me help him out, I was really helpful when doing this job." He smiled.

"Wow." Four was sort of astonished. Eric never acted this intelligent. Usually he acted like he never opened a book in his life and thought only of getting more powerful. What he said made sense though. Why haven't he acted like this when he was around him? It was just another piece of him that he loved to get to know better.

Four looked around the apartment. It was a cozy place. Soft lights, old sofa with mismatched pillows, a fan giving the room a comfortable noise and breeze. Even if everything was black, it still radiated that warmth. The warmth of Dauntless comradery. The quiet was wonderful. It hit him then. This was contentment. The warmth coming from his chest and the tingle on his skin. He couldn't keep the dopy grin off his face as he laid his head against Eric's shoulder.

"Hmm." Eric hummed as he pulled Four across the last few inches of space between them and wrap am arms around him. Four felt at that moment like he was going to explode if he didn't do something at that moment. So, he turned his head and kissed Eric's unsuspecting lips. Eric made a low noise in his throat before kissing back. This wasn't like any normal kiss. It was softer, and even though it didn't make him want to swoon, it was nice. Soon he was lost in the rhythm of the kiss nearly sitting in Eric's lap.

Then a pile of books fell from the coffee table, making Four's nose bang into Eric's. Eric grabbed his nose, dropping Four onto the Floor.

 **(Authors note: HA almost got you guys! Don't worry though, the next chapter is sure to have some fun! So, in the comments, please answer this question for me. What constitutes a date? What should happen on a date? Have a good week!**

 **Peace & Love**

 **-Gracie)**


	6. They Fuck

**(Hey, it's been a while since I've posted here. The following content has some explicit content of a sexual nature. If that makes you uncomfortable than please turn away and go read something else. Please favorite/comment.**

 **Please enjoy!**

 **-G)**

Four stumbled through Eric's apartment, stepping over boxes and at times being pulled back into Eric's big arms again. It took them considerably longer for them to get to Eric's room that it might have made sense to, but when the door finally swung shut on the bedroom, Four was shoved up against a dresser, Eric plucking kisses from his lips as he surrounded him.

"God damn, you're so fucking pretty Four." Eric said against Four's neck. It was hard to think, he was so over stimulated. He felt Eric slid his rough hands under his shirt, his hands gliding over his stomach and over his sensitive ribs. His hands were white hot irons, shocking him with their warmth.  
"Pretty?" Four was dizzy, only holding on by the grip he had on Eric's black t-shirt. It was hard to focus on words when the man who helped lead the faction was sucking onto the side of his neck.  
"Yes, pretty Four. With his pretty eyes, pretty face," Eric reached up and grabbed Four's jaw, making him look into Eric's eyes. There was a growing tension within Four, just starting at the back of his neck as he watched Eric look at him.  
"Pretty hands, pretty tattoos. You are very pretty Four. You're fucking gorgeous baby." He cut the sentence off with a light bite to Four's collarbone.  
He moaned from the heat of his mouth on his skin. He never really got praise for his looks. When he was young, he was told he shouldn't look at himself . When he joined Dauntless, he would go into the bathroom on the dormitory, and just look into the reflection. It was the first time he studied himself really, and it felt horribly vain. But he couldn't look away.

Four was tugging at Eric's shirt. He wanted it off of him. He really wanted to see him. Eric smiled, and pulled his shirt over his head in one smooth motion, flinging it to the side. Four looked at him. He wasn't a body builder, but Eric was the kind of muscular that wouldn't break. Thick arms and torso that were solid and strong. Four saw that he had even more tattoos hidden behind a shirt. Along with a few other piercings.

"Damn, even your nipples have to be filled with metal?" Four joked. It didn't stop his heart from beating out of his chest. He reached out and touched one, a simple gray bar. Eric groaned. "And sensitive too."

"Oh, shut up." Eric pulled Four to himself back to Four, smiling as he kissed the other man, slowly, playing with his tongue.  
"Mm Eric." His hands held Eric's face, feeling the roughness of his stubble and sharpness of his jaw. He wanted to pull his hands through his hair. He was about to pull put his ponytail, when Eric's hand wondered down to his jeans. He gasped as Eric's wandering massaged him. The sudden touch to an area not usually felt, made Four moan as he ground into his hand.  
"You okay Four?"  
"Yes Eric, yeah, just-" Four moaned as his fly was undone. The feeling of foreign hands on his body, gripping his side as he fondled his crotch and kissed his jaw. "just... a lot."  
It wasn't helped by the edge of Eric's dresser was pushing into Four's back. He pushed the other man forward, until his legs hit the black sheeted mattress. He watch Eric, breathing hard with red coming down to his throat. Four watched his many tattoos move with the muscles underneath them. Eric gazed at him through half lidded eyes.  
"Come're, Stiff." Eric had paused within that sentence, like he was debating if he should say it. The old insult was weird to hear from him, but now he didn't care. He let himself fall between Eric's legs and onto his body, Four took a more demanding and dominant roll. 'Time to stop pussy footing around.'  
Four fell upon him, face first into his chest. He glided his way down, leaving wet kisses behind. Eric seemed to be happy with this situation, as he kept moaning and grunting when Four's tongue slipped over his pierced nipple. Four finally made it to the end of his journey, passed the man's trail trail of rough dark hair, to the top of Eric's sweat pants.  
Four didn't hesitate when pulling down Eric's pants. It was such an obvious thing to do, that he didn't think about how he had no real idea how to go on from there. He didn't know what to do with a dick right there in front of him.  
Eric had a pretty good dick, Four had thought as he gentle grabbed the base of it. Even with his very little experience of other men's dicks. It was paler and a little vainy where Four's was about the same color of his skin. It was longer than his and a bit thicker too. The biggest difference though was the head. He was bulbous and red, almost purple, and it was twitching.  
Four took a tentative lick, heart thumping in his chest, testing the waters. It wasn't bad really, a bit salty and a weird tang, but not horrible. He started running his tongue in strips up Eric's dick, kissing it sometimes. He found it kind of relaxing as he worked, putting his mouth on something thick and warm. He stopped licking it and looked down at the head of Eric's cock, it was twitching more than ever now. Four lapped at the head, and heard Eric muffled moan from above him.

Eric was in a state. He face was flushed and he held a hand over his mouth, the other gripping the sheet by his hip. His dark eyes were on fire as he stared down at Four. Just looking at him made Four's cock jump. He ground down on the sheets slid the head of Eric's cock into his mouth, all the while looking up at him. Watching him close his eyes. Four thought he was doing an okay job.

Four bobbed his head, going on more instinct and a few conversations with friends on how to do this. He remembered Zach talk about his time with some girl.

"I was like she was angry at my dick or something she was biting it so much!" That had made Four cringe at the time, but it was useful advice. He pulled his lips over his teeth, Eric groaned loudly from behind his hand.

"Fucking hell Stiff, god damn." Four moaned against Eric, the babbling was so hot. Eric looked delicious. All red and hazy eyed. He reached out a hand and put it gently on the back of Four's neck. Four gazed up at him, brain both dizzy and on fire, watching Eric's face as he sucked up. Four liked the feeling of being there, after all the weeks of anxiety towards Eric had seemed to all fall out as he lay sprawled between his legs.

Something was bothering him though. Although Four was extensively enjoying sucking Eric's dick, he wanted to hear him. Or at least get some feedback. He pulled slowly off Eric's cock, he let go with a pop.

"Eric," Four stared up at the man holding his face in his hand. "I, I wanna, I want to hear you. You sound so nice behind your hand." Eric stared down at him as he let go of his face. Four smirked, blushing hard as he quickly took Eric's cock back into his mouth, swirling his tongue around the head.

"Oh shit!" Eric, now loud and clear, moaned into the cool air. "Feels so fucking good Four." He stuck both hands into Four's short hair, gripping there for purchase as Four went back to work. Four kept his eyes on Eric's face, how it contorted and loosened. He kept moaning a list of profanities along with a few, "Four," and, "Fucking hell Stiff!" It made Four so hot, and whenever he said his name, something in his chest would jump. Yes, he liked it when Eric moaned his name.

"Fuck shit oh fuck, Four, Four I'm gonna cum, Four-" Before long Eric was tugging at Four's short hair and bucking his hips. Fucking Four's mouth and making him gag. Four moaned along with him. The pain was nothing compared to how turned on he was. It was only heightened by the swelling and twitching the dick in his mouth was doing.

"Oh, Oh Oh shit Oh my god. Fou- "Eric was coming apart, slamming Fours head down so his nose hit black trimmed pubic hair. He choked as Eric cam down his throat. He looked up through tears to see Eric, sweating, red as a tomato, mouth open in a silent scream, the most beautiful Four has ever seen a man. Hell, he was proud to be the one to make him like this.

Eric came back to earth, breathing hard and boneless against the bed. Four got up for air, coughing and choking. Eric sat up, alarmed.

"Oh shit, sorry. Damn it you're crying, sorry." Eric, pulled Four up into his lap, pulling a thumb across Four's cheek.

"I'm fine. Are you okay?" Four noticed how rough his voice was. 'I guess that happens when someone cums down your throat.' He thought to himself, before getting even hotter in the face.

"I just shoved you down onto me. I wasn't really thinking." Eric was acting strange. His weren't cold or sultry, or anything he had ever seen in Eric's eyes... They were warm and, his brow furrowed in worry. Four felt light there, sitting in Eric's lap, right there, being held and his face touched.

"I'm alright Eric." Four was still reeling from it all. He noticed his lips had become rough and puffy from over use. He looked down and slid his fingers between Eric's. "I actually kind of liked it." Four smiled.

"You did?" Eric, starting to look drowsy.

"Yeah," Four said, voice low in the back of his throat. "I guess you could say I'm a masochist." He pulled Eric's hand to his long waiting cock. It was dripping precum and begging to be touched.

"Hmm," Eric said, gently pulling the sensitive member. Four practically bent backwards moaning. This was so much better than anything he had done to himself. It was like Eric was electric, every time he touched him, he felt sparks go to his spin. "Wow look at you. Your lips are fucking red." He rested his head against Four's shoulder, watching his hand work.

"Mmm, Eric." Four was flushed, his back against Eric's chest, moaning his name in a whiny, needy voice. It was so much. Four knew he probably looked weird. He was always so stoic to other people, but now he was moaning and crying for another man. Eric started to kiss Four's neck, sucking in a few places and biting his shoulder. Damn his neck was sensitive, it made his cock twitch. All the while Eric was feeding him a steady stream of foul talk into his ear.

"Mm, such a pretty face you have." He was kissing and nipping his jaw. "I can't believe I've got someone like you in my bed." Sucking a spot on his shoulder. Four made a low "oh" sound. "You sound so good, you like that?" With a harder tug on his cock nearly sent Four over the edge. "Yeah, so good and turned on for me huh Four. If anyone else could see you now, crying from my hands on you." Four was panting harder, hips twitching into Eric's wonderful fucking hand without him in control. He was going to lose his mind. "What would you say Four? Or would you be too busy cumming?" Four cried out, he felt his pulse throughout his body like being around a giant loud drum. He was going to cum! He was so close! Oh, he was right at the edge! And!

"Nooooo!" Four howled as Eric took his hand away. The fire in his gut and under his skin was left on while Four bucked wildly, trying to find something, anything to finish himself off on. Eric grabbed his arms, keeping them at his sides and away from his cock. He laughed low in his ear. "You fucking bastard!" Four was near crying. He was so close!

"Well Four, I think were a good match. You a masochist, I a sadist." Eric, the sadist, bit a mark into Four's shoulder. Four gasped in pain, loving the white-hot feeling. It reminded him of the feeling right before orgasm. "Now turn around, I wanna see your face when you cum Stiff." Well that sentence made Four's heart flip. He turned so he was face to face with Eric, stratling his legs. Four looked down at Eric, face too hot, heart pounding too fast.

Eric started sliding his hand up and down Four's cock, circling the head with his thumb lazily. Four felt the first few sparks fly up again making him cry out. He knew he was going to cum soon. As he thought this Eric went on again with his languid chatter of dirty talk, this time though, to take a different tone.

"I love that look you have Four, you look so out of it." Eric tightened up his grip on Four's cock, making him whine happily. Yes, this felt right. "Look at your fucking lips baby, so fucking red and puffy from sucking my cock so well." Four groaned and stole a kiss from Eric's lips. Four felt his other hand slid from his hip downward. "And this ass," He squeezed it hard. Four was too gone to speak. All he could do was gasp as he was groped. "Damn, it was like you were teasing me with it for so long. Now I can," He slid a few finders down to his entrance. "finally do this." He pushed a finger inside and it was like Four's throat felt like a vacuum by how fast he sucked in a breath. It hurt, but it was so intimate. It was like Eric was a part of him now.

"Eric." Four was begging in his voice, but for what? He felt his knuckles go white as he gripped the pillow behind Eric. It was all just so fast, and spiraling and he was just riding a wave of pleasure. He knew he was going to cum soon.

"Yes Stiff? You like my finger up your ass?" He went deeper, fingering him faster as his hand on Four's cock kept a languid pace. Four made a show of bucking his hips. Jesus he was going to go crazy. It was so hot he might just melt into a puddle.

"Yes. Yes Eric. Oh ffmmm. Eric I'm going to." It was then when Eric hit something deep within Four and there was no coming back. All he did was gasp, cling to Eric's shoulders, and scream.

He had left to world to go to one that had only whiteness in his eyes and static in his ears. It was like he was surrounded my violins, all strumming at the same note and frequency, so it felt like everything was in its place. He was flying, tumbling over the edge into a hot ocean. Time was meaningless there, all he felt was good and nothing else.

Four had no idea how long he was in that white world, probably no more than a few seconds, but when he woke up, he was limp against Eric's wide chest. It was like nothing ever felt by any man. It was so warm and comfortable. Four was liquid against the man who was once his enemy. An enemy who was carding his fingers through his hair, whispering sweet nothings into his ear. He could die happy here.

Eric murmured something about a towel and some water, and Four quietly agreed. And he was left with a blanket thrown over him. Soon Eric came back with a warm wash cloth, which he wiped up the mess Four made all over himself. "You got it to you chin. Jesus how long has it been since you last came?" Four shrugged and chugged the glass of water before setting it on the night table beside him. He looked up at Eric, his piercings shining in the dim light of his bedside lamp and tattoos unintelligible against the shadows. Four felt a warm feeling spreading throughout him, in his legs, arms, chest. He opened his arms, telling Eric to come to bed. And Eric fell into his arms. Four found is way to lie on Eric's chest.

They lay there for a few minutes, basking in the sunny aftermath. Four brushed his hands over the tattoos covering Eric's chest. He asked what each meant while he lightly brushed over them with his fingers. One was a constellation, one was in reference to a book, one was about his family and younger sister. One was about his mother. Eric asked about his tattoos, and Four answered honestly most of the time. The one on his ribs was still a mystery that he was sure he might reveal some other time. But this was too perfect to talk about his father. He let himself fall asleep against Eric.

"G'night Er." Four mumbled into the other mans chest, the warmth still thrumming pleasantly through his body.

"Good night." Eric pushed his face into Four's hair and sighed. As Four fell deeper and deeper into sleep, he thought he heard Eric say something. something like "I love you Tobias." He dropped into asleep before he could react.


	7. Chapter 7

Four had been dreaming something unpleasant. Something terrible that left his heart racing and his hands grabbing at the unfamiliar sheets beneath him. Fours head shot up, half conscious and very confused on where he was and why he was butt naked. Then with a jerk, he remembered.

Four found himself on his stomach alone in Eric's bed. It smelled like him, he noted, looking around the dimly lit room. There was a small lamp spilling soft yellowish light from atop a waist high dresser. Above it, Four could see himself in the mirror, he had never noticed it before. It was so large, if he stood on the bed, he could probably seek himself fully. Four glanced at his short hair in a mess and his face flushed and wrinkles pressed into it from the sheets. He dropped his eyes, finding a clock on the night stand and seeing it was only 5 am.

He sat up, the black sheets pooling at the bottom of his stomach. He rubbed his face before looking for something to wear. He was freezing.  
He had just put on one of Eric's t-shirt that was a size too big for him when the man himself walked in. He looked damp, hair wet and shirt clinging to his chest. Four felt the other man's eyes on him, and he felt like all the eyes of the world were on him.  
"How's your nose?"  
"What?" Four was cut off by the question. Shouldn't they talk about the night before? That was a big, embaressing deal.  
"You banged it last night. Before I dropped you."  
"Oh it's fine. " Four was puzzled, but he found himself smiling. Eric didn't seem interested in talking about what had happed the night before. Four looked down, wondering what he should say next.  
Eric walked over to the other man, and Four suddenly felt all the oxygen was sucked out of his lungs. He tried to keep a safe face when Eric gently pressed at his nose's bridge. His caloused hands scrapping at the sensitive skin. This wasn't fair, how was he still feeling light after the other man's finger tips on his face after he had had his dick in his mouth only a few hours before?  
With the thought, Four's face warmed and he felt has underarms start to sweat. His hands trembled with the overflowing electric energy when Eric swept his fingers across his cheeks, bringing their faces together. A hand slipped onto his hip before Four felt the cool metal of the few lip piercings press to the edge of his lips. He was gentle and soft, and for some reason it made his heart hammer harder than if he kissed his lips. They pulled away and suddenly Four was captured in the other man's dark eyes. Weeks ago, he had never seen them so close and clear, they looked black far away, but they were really a dark blue.

They were soft and earnest, asking a silent question. Something important. But Four didn't know what they were asking, or how he would even be able to respond. The stillness was broken by Eric reaching up and ruffling a hand through Four's hair.

"You look like you stuck your finger in a light socket." His voice was deep, and he had a smile on his lips, but his eyes looked sad. Like he was disappointed.

"Fuck off." Four laughed. he wanted to get passed that odd feeling. Eric smiled, for real now, and pushed the other man into the unmade bed. He flopped on top of him making Four groan. Four began pressing his mouth onto Eric's cheek, down to his jaw, until he was sucking on the crook of his neck. Four loved how Eric smelled. He was still a bit damp, but he smelt like soap and water. Eric groaned low in his ear, making his chest vibrate against Four's. Eric buried his head in Four's hair, and he rolled to his side with Four.

They lay there together, just still and quiet. As he listened to Eric's heartbeat, Four began to think back to the first time he came to Eric's apartment. He was filled with excitement, he had wanted to talk deeply. He wanted to share secrets with him, and just from last night, how Eric spoke about his family; Four just wanted to know more.  
"Eric-"  
Four was cut off by an annoying, loud beeping coming from the head of the bed. Eric sat up and groaned as he reached and silenced the alarm. Four watched, noticing the muscles in Eric's arm tensing as he held himself up. There was a tattoo of a balloon on the inside of his elbow. Too small to see without getting that close.  
Four wrapped his arms around Eric's torso, pressing his face into Eric's stomach, smelling like detergent. Eric lost his balance, dropping to his forearms and looking down. He laughed and Four felt it. Four stared up at the other man feeling something swell up in his chest, pressure building as he saw Eric smiling and double chin.  
" I really do need to go to work now babe." Babe sounded strange from Eric. It just felt like it didn't fit with him at all. Eric sat up, straddling Four's chest and rolling off him. "Let's get some food."

Four had a headache. Zeke had gotten sick after having too many drinks the night before, and Four had covered for him. He was glad he was helping a friend, or more likely, glad he wasn't dealing with a moaning, and vomiting, Zeke. the coffee was making his head ache worse. Or maybe it was the low light or the way his neck was. Four had been at work since 10 am and it was nearing midnight.

He looked up and caught his managers eyes. He looked worse than Four probably did. His bun was coming undone and from the light of his screen his under eyes looked like pit. Amil checked the clock above the door and nodded to him. That was his cue to leave.

Four leaned back, making his back crack in the best way. After scrubbing his eyes and make himself see stars, he stood, knees cracking loudly. He walked through the other exhausted looking dauntless and slipped out the door.

Four had been apprehensive about leaving so late, he had heard the horror stories of people being attacked. He felt he and his past might be a good kindle for that sort of attack. Four walked quickly, past the Pit, rushing home so he could drink about 8 cups of water and pass out. Not the best way to spend his Tuesday night, but who can blame him? Double shifts suck.

Four was only half way to his apartment, absentmindedly taking a short cut by using a short small cramped set of stairs. Almost no one knew where they were, and only one camera was able to see it, and only about half of the stairs were visible. The darkness over took him, and Four was grateful for his eyes to get the rest. He could probably go up these winding steps backwards with his eyes closed. But he shouldn't have been so cocky, not as comfortable in the dark. That's what he thought to himself when he felt the hands grab him around the neck, hidden feet kicking his legs out from under him, arms smacking his head into the walls.  
 **( Authors Note: Hello! I really hope everyone enjoys this update. Hey, do you want to make me update faster? Comment on this update, message me somewhere, dig a hole and scream my user name to the worms, whatever is easiest for you, and ask about becoming a beta reader! I'm looking for one to three people who are willing to get my next chapter sent to them before I release them upon Wattpad and give me comments and criticism (mostly criticism) and I can use that to make the story better. Also, in the future I'm planning on going through the past chapters and making changes, just to clean everything up and making it easier to read.**

 **Happy holidays**

 **Gracie)**


	8. Four Gets the shit kicked out of him

Four was discombobulated from the fall and more overhead smacking. He tried to jump back up, but invisible hands pulled him easily up under his arms. As he was reared back, someone kicked his exposed stomach, making him double over gasping. All this harsh movements made the throbbing pain in his skull much worse. Four heard the scraping sounds of shoe on the dusty ground at the person behind him turned and slammed him into the concrete wall.

His nose and head throbbed with pain and he tried to scream, to get someone's attention or just to let out some of the pain, but his face was met with a rubber gloved hand. He tried to bite down, feeling hot blood rush from his nose and drip to his mouth.

That was a bad move, making his attacker bang his head against the wall a second time. Then a third. Then a fourth. At this point, with the bleeding, the head bashing, and the throbbing in his abdomen, Four felt the edges of his vision turn a shade darker than the darkness surrounding him. Suddenly, one of the attackers shushed the one pressed up against his back. It was the first noise that he had heard from the faceless attackers. The person behind him went still and Four could feel the person's racing heart beat against his back. Four grunted and growled, throwing his head back to hit the person behind him, kicking out against the wall in front of him. His chest was heaving with pants. The pain and the effort were making him dizzy.

He caught the sound of footsteps of multiple people nearby. With a sudden boost of adrenaline, Four started screaming against the hand at his mouth and writhing their grip, pushing past the pain the intense thrashing brought. Someone slipped a hand onto his throat and squeezed. A choked sound was loud in the stairwell. He tried scratch at the hands as he heard the steps pass through the rushing of blood in his head.

Panic scratched at his chest as his body slowed, like he was submerged in water. Four's mind was slowing now. His eyes crossed, and the static in his ears became a roar so loud he couldn't pick up anything outside of himself. He was half aware he was drooling. Was this dying? Was _this_ dying? A fresh panic spread through his blood and he tried to kick his captor off of him, but it wasn't much. Nothing the man couldn't deal with. After his final attempt at tossing the person off, his mind sank numbly into the abysses of a throbbing, black sea.

Four groaned and held his head, he had woken up and pulled himself to sitting against the cold wall. He was panting and trying to think through his pain. He felt much worse than when he had passed out. His ribs felt raw and it hurt to breathe too deeply, like someone had been kicking them. His stomach felt even worse. Whoever had assaulted him, seemed to have kept going even as he passed out.

It was a herculean task to just stand, and Four didn't know if he could do it on his own. He took a deep breath, a deep ache in his abdomen and back followed as he lifted a hand to the rail above his head. He got up, leaning heavily on the wall. He began to walk up the stairs, limping, something was wrong with his ankle, Four thought hazily. His steps could be heard over the sound of his breathing and thrumming under his skull.

He stumbled down a few deserted halls, stopping over and over to catch his breath. It was like he was dragging parts of himself around and had to keep picking them up. But soon enough he was banging on the front door of an apartment at what-ever-the-fuck AM. It took a few rounds, but soon it was opened to reveal a disheveled looking Shauna. She looked like she had been asleep, wearing a black tank top and black sweatpants, her hair loose and tangled around her face. the inner stiff in Four scolded himself for bothering her at this time of night. That was quickly shut up by the throbbing pain in this side and the need for help.

"Oh my god Four! What…happened to you?" Shauna's eyes widened, sleep disappearing from them. Four was about to say something neutral and dry, like "What? Don't I look good?" or something along those lines, but then his vision blurred, and he hand to raise a hand to the door frame to keep himself standing. "Come in!" Shauna took him by the shoulder and helped him into the living room. There she set him down on a ratty black couch.

Four's head pounded, and a large rush of blood ran down his chin from his nose.

"Shit, one second." Four watched Shauna's hair swishes behind her when went to the kitchen. Coming back with cloth and a bowl of water. "Get your head right. You can bleed all over the place." Four had leaned his head back and held his nose closed. She grabbed one of the cloths from the pile Shauna had dropped on the ground by his head and let the blood flow out of him.

"Tanks" Four said, his voice strange from his bleeding nose. He looked up to see Shauna staring at him with firm lips and knitted brow. She looked away, sighed and soaked a cloth in the water and started wiping the blood from his face. The water was cold, and although it shocked him, it was bringing him back into his senses more.

"What happened? Did you get in a fight with a flight of stairs?" Shauna was rough wiping away the blood. He skin was going to be red and sensitive after this. Where it wasn't black and blue at least.

"Close, I got into a fight on a flight of stairs." He laughed low. Pain in his side flared up hard, like he had been hit once again. He started coughing and he was worried he might cough up blood. That would be bad "Well, less of a fight more of a group ganged up on me."

"God, really?" Shauna was wiping blood from his brow and he moan when it stung. There was probably a gash around there. Probably where most of the blood was coming from. He remembered learning in school that head wounds bleed more than other wounds because there was just more blood in the head. They were quiet for a while. Four was busy making sure he didn't get too much blood everywhere, and Shauna had finished washing away what was on his face and started cleaning out the scrapes and cuts in his face. suddenly she spoke again. "Was… Eric involved?"

"What?" Four hadn't even thought about Eric. He was more focused on himself. But the thought of Eric doing something like this now was… unthinkable.

"Come on Four, I'm not stupid, I know something is going on with you and Eric." Shauna's voice was still low, as of not to wake her sleeping family, but it was still harsh. She was being less gentle with her cleaning now. "Whenever I see you in the same room there is just some sort of… tension. Worse more than the normal kind from Eric being a pissy baby"

"I don't know what you're talking about." Four's heart started to beat faster as he thought through what he was going to say. This was the worst-case scenario. He and Eric weren't out to anyone, and he wanted to keep it that way until he knew it wouldn't cause too much of a controversy. But he was now metaphorically and literally pushed up against a wall here.

"Oh, don't give me that Four." She stopped cleaning him and focused in on him completely. She wanted the truth, and Four didn't want to give it up. Or lie to his friend. "Something is up, and you aren't telling anyone." Her voice was quiet, conspiratorial. She had brought her face down to his.

"There is something… but I don't want to say anything right now." Four looked down, not meeting her eyes. Big mistake on his part.

"Four, we are your friends, if there is something wrong, I know it seems hard because he's powerful, but we can stop this if it's really bad. Just tell us." Her voice went from interrogating to almost pleading. She really thought he was in trouble and wanted to help. Four appreciated it but he was not in the mood to tell her that he was fucking the guy who had harassed him and his friends not too long ago. He wanted a better place to do it than here, passed midnight, bleeding and sleep deprived.

"I know Shauna. You all mean so much to me. You are my family. You, Zeke, everyone, but…" Shauna was much closer to him now, only a few inches from his face. He felt the warmth off her body. There was something different in her eyes, dark, half lidded and staring into his soul. "Shauna…" She smelled nice, like soap and flowers. A hand was on his neck, the course calluses on her palms brushed against the side of his cheek.

Four doesn't even take in the feeling of her lips on his. He pulls back with a jerk. His heart pounds and slides down to the pit of his stomach. What was she doing? What was _he_ doing?

"I- I'm sorry." Shauna squeaked out, like her throat was tight and there just wasn't enough air for her voice. Four looked at her face and his heart broke. She looked hurt and her face was flushed with embarrassment. She wouldn't meet his eyes when she mumbled something about getting some ice for his head. Before he could get anything out of his mouth, he wanted to make her feel better. But he felt to shocked to even think of something good to say. So, she swept out of the room, leaving him alone with his beating heart and the pressure in his chest.

 **(A/N: Wow! That was a fun chapter and I hope y'all liked it! Sorry it took so long to get out, but finals kicked my ass, and with traveling and spending time with family I haven't had much time to sit down and write. I'm planning on spending this weekend working my ass off on school work and getting ahead on chapters for this. I'm still looking for beta readers if you are interested in reading these chapters early and giving me some feedback. If you do want to become a beta reader, just message me and we can talk about it!**

 **Happy new year!**

 **Gracie)**


	9. I want you beside me always

He leaned back onto the couch, his eyes trained up on to the celling, the soft light making shapes with fuzzy edges on the white paint. Without the already dull ache in his skull, Four still wouldn't really know what to say. The first thought he had was that he was an idiot. How long had Shauna wanted to do that? Had she tried to give him signs? Thinking back, he had noticed that she acted weird, but he never thought of her being interested in him like that.

Her face came back into his mind. Surprised, hurt, and tears in her eyes. Another pang of pressure came to his chest. Seeing a friend like Shauna, so brave and reckless in pain like that was hard. What should he do when she comes back? He wanted to hug her, take care of her. But he really couldn't, could he?

Shauna came back holding a cold pack. Her face was distant, but more put together. Her eyes were red and puffy though. Four could tell she had been crying.

"Here. Your probably tired, you should get some sleep." She said curtly, handing Four the ice pack and turning away.

"hey wait." Four pressed the coolness to his head. He really wanted to talk to her. He didn't want her to go to bed like this. "Will you sit with me for a bit?"

"What? Are you afraid of the dark?" Shauna tried to joke. Four knew she was just trying to act like nothing happened.

"No. I want to talk to you." Four's voice was firm. He knew that this was something that couldn't be blown over. Shauna stopped at the door, back to him, for a moment. Before turning and walking back over. She sat cross-legged against the couch by his hip.

"How long…" Four started.

"I don't know. Since initiation? I never saw you before that. And I always liked you." She wouldn't look at him. She was curled up, arms around her legs pressed to her chest. Four was taken aback. Had she really liked him then? He was never aware. Everything felt like a lot and he laughed. Shauna smacked his arm, she looked hurt.

"Sorry, I'm just _so fucking dumb._ "

Shauna sighed, slumping back against the couch. "What can I say. You grew up a stiff." There was a beat and Four couldn't see her face, but he felt like she was crying again. He hesitated before moving his hand to her shoulder. Her warm skin was shivering. "It's just… it's just I'm so fucking dumb, now I messed this up."

You didn't mess anything up. You just miscalculated. I… and I still want you around. I really, _really_ want you around." He didn't want to think about what life would be like if Shauna suddenly ducked out of it. It would be like losing a sister.

"You do?" Her voice cracked and Four knew for sure then she was crying." God, I sound awful." She wiped her face with the heel of her hand.

"Yes, I do. You are one of the best friends I've had. I don't know what I'd do without you. I don't want that to change." Four thought about what it would be like without having Shauna as a friend, without her at meals or get drunk with. He would really miss her.

"I don't want it to change either." She sounded soft. So, unlike herself.

It was quiet from then on, they kept talking for a while, before Four finally fell asleep. It was restless, and only lasted a few hours before he woke up. Shauna had left him a note on the end table, telling him she was gone for work. The apartment seemed empty, and his face felt numb. He was feeling better than yesterday, and he could walk with only a limp and wasn't going to black out any time soon.

He left, chugging a glass of water before making his way back to his apartment, taking back halls and quiet stairs so no one would see him in this state, bruised and clothes torn. His body ached as he went up the dark crowded stairs, trying not to think about what happened a few hours earlier in a place just like that. He would think about it later. It occurred to him that he was spending less and less time in his solitary apartment. He had spent more time sleeping at other people's places than his own. That made him fell happy for some reason, and that happiness made him forget the darker memories from the night before.

Four felt relieved as he closed and locked the door behind him. He was finally alone. Safe again. The first thing he did was take off his t-shirt. The black cotton was stiff with dried blood. He tossed it in the hamper and got ready for a shower. He caught himself in the mirror and gasped. He looked… bad.

His lips were puffed, eyes bruised, his whole body was covered with ugly purple bruises. He noticed how there was blood in his hair. He checked his teeth and sighed. Nothing seemed broken or bloody in his mouth. Nothing really felt broken either. Just very banged up. After inspecting himself he hopped in the shower. He smelled like blood and sweat. Maybe to some dauntless this would smell great, but he was left with a sick feeling in his stomach.

After scrubbing himself clean in a cool shower until the water going down the drain was no longer pink, he got out and grabbed bruise paste and spread it basically all over his body and face before taking a few pain relivers. After cleaning up the bathroom carefully, wiping the floor for water, he walked back into the room, shirtless so the paste could dry. It was only when he was eating some cereal when someone started banging on his door, nearly making his heart stop.

"Four?!" Eric's deep voice came from behind the door. Four stood and limped over, letting Eric enter.

Eric came in like a flock of frightened birds. All over the place all at once, he was in front of him, Four could smell soap and coffee on him, something he was soon connecting with Eric. His dark eyes roamed across his body, seeming to widen with panic at how beaten Four looked. Eric's calloused hand pressed lightly against Four's side, where his ribs were covered with large red and darkening bruises.

"Eric." Four seemed to feel more exhausted than he had, and he grabbed Eric's shoulder to hold him up. Four found himself more relaxed, like there was tension on his shoulders and back lifted. "I'm glad you're here." Four's voice was quiet, like he only wanted to share the words with Eric and not the rest of the empty room.

Eric's hands stopped and met Four's eyes. His dark eyes softened, and he. "Let's sit down, We need to talk." His deep voice rang in Four's body like a bell, he didn't even notice his hands shaking until they stopped. They walked to Four's neatly made bed and sat together, side by side, shoulder to shoulder.

Eric was quiet for a moment and Four was too tired to really put words together at this point, so he just studied him. Eric's shoulders were hunched, and his eyes were everywhere but Four's face, studding Four's room. He realized that Eric had never been in his room before. It made him feel nervous, his room was sparsely decorated. He didn't spend enough time here to really care about the decor, but he compared his small room to Eric's apartment, with its space and furniture, Four was living like he did when he was a child in his bedroom.

"Four I... there is something I have to tell you, but I really don't want to." There was something in his voice that Four didn't like, it made Four want to hold him, which Four never really matched up with Eric. But now all he wanted was to pull the man to his chest and lay down with him.

"Is it about what happened last night?" Four felt like the air around the two of them was fragile glass, and even the slightest shift would shatter it. So, he tried to edge the words out of

"Yes. I believe it does." Eric scraped white lines into his tattooed forearm. "And I just want to protect you." Four was about to protest, he could fight just fine, this was a one-time thing really, but Eric cut him off. "I know you can fight, you have almost broken my nose many times during initiation, but this is bigger that a fist fight. This is organized."

Four didn't know what to say to make things better really. The tone in Eric's voice gave no hint to changing his mind. So instead of reasoning with him or arguing, he slides his hand into Eric's calloused one. He could only say one thing.

"We are going to be okay Eric. And I'll be by your side for all of it." The other man took his hand, and Four could see a line of red around Eric's eyes. Four rested his head on Eric's warm chest, and they sat like that for a minute. It was the first time Four felt calm really for the past 24 hours. He could feel Eric's heart beat and he could feel his own pulse begin to match his.

"Four, you were attacked because of me." Eric's said quiet like he was afraid to say it. Four looked up, Eric's face was slightly distorted by his one black eye. Eric let go of him, pulling away really. "And I think we should stop seeing each other …. like this because of that."

 **(Authors Note: Hello! I'm so glad to be back to writing! Junior year is soooooooooo much and I'm in a musical! So, I have about -1 hours to do things like sleep and have proper meals, but I'm on a break so I'm chilling and so glad to have this chapter out. I really wish I could do more, and I really feel like this is something I love and feel happy while doing but I am sadly constrained by other important life things. Please comment and vote!**

 **Best Gracie)**


	10. The Parting (nsfw)

What?" Four had been quiet for a second, not really taking in what Eric just said. "What do you mean?" Eric wouldn't look at Four, making the man feel even worse.

"I... Being a leader in this faction can be dangerous, especially if I try to go against some older leaders." Four was hanging on the other man's every word. "I've been... rocking the boat for the past few months. Or something along those lines." Eric shifted, crossing his legs and shifting himself to face Four, but his eyes were looking just over his shoulder. "I think there are a few forces that would like to intimidate me, and they know how to do it and do it well."

"Eric this is crazy..." Four's words left him, even as he felt so much. "Can't... This sounds very illegal."

Eric laughed humorlessly. "Well these guys are above legality at this point." Eric fidgeted with a piercing above his right eyebrow, Four couldn't take his eyes off his hands.

"So, what do you mean, stop seeing each other like this?" Four's heart was sinking. How dare the world do this to him? He just gained something that he never knew he wanted. And now it was slipping away.

"I'll... We will have to avoid each other. We can't be seen meeting, or even talking really or else you will get hurt. Or worse." Eric's voice went from angry and frustrated to fearful. He still wouldn't look at Four. Four felt like all the air had drained out of the dimly lit room.

"Eric..." Four gathered himself and stood infront of Eric, and when the other man still wouldn't look up at him. Four cupped Eric's jaw, lifting up his face. They finally met eyes and Four could see that his eyes were red rimmed and looked wet.

Eric was moving towards the door and Four panicked, he caught the other man's arm and he stood like an anchored. Eric turned.

"If we aren't going to see each other, and be near each other for a while, and we don't know when we will see each other again, can you stay with me."

Eric looked at Four, and Four was astonished how well the light caught in his eyes, making the blue glitter. Without breaking eye contact with him Eric said, "I'll stay as long as you want me."

"I want you as long as you can stay." Four pronounced, there wasn't a quiver of a lie in his voice you might mistake him as candor.

"Okay." Eric nodded slowly.

Four pulled Eric closer to him. He wanted all of him and he wanted him badly. He kissed him, and Eric stiffened before melting into the kiss, putting his big hands on Four's sides. Four took a step back and pushed the other man to the bed. He looked down at the man, his man, and appreciated his beauty. His dark hair swirling beside his face, catching the dim light. His firm brow and square jaw casting hard shadows on his face.

Eric tugged on Four's arm, pulling him down into him. Four resumed kissing Eric, moving to his jaw, to his neck. Eric's felt pliable under his hands, which were roaming over his body like he wanted to memorise it for the time he would be away. The thought make Four's heart throb unpleasantly for a moment, making him suck at the skin at the space where Eric's neck and shoulder met.

Eric's voice was low and needy in Four's ear. His big hands slid down Four's exposed back, making the other man gasp, muscles tensing and relaxing. Four slid cold hands up Eric shirt, up his hot stomach and to his firm chest. Eric captured the other man's lips and pulled him up so they were face to face, chest to chest. He slid his hands down from Four's sides to his hips and slidng his hands underneath the waist band of his sweats. Four's body felt like he was 3 times as sensitive than it was only a few minutes ago, the wounds on his body ached, but the warmth of Erics breath and he feel of his hands made it feel like nothing at all.

"Eric," Four said breathlessly. His heart was racing, he could feel his pulse in the tips of his finger, but that might just be because he was cold. He pressed them to Eric warm pale skin, firm and tough. "I don't want to let you go..." He was ashamed at how his voice trembed like a child, and he burried his head in the other mans shoulder, like he was hiding himself from the world.

Eric rested his hand agains the front of Four's boxers and the feeling made Four jump. He moaned into Eric's mouth and bucked against the other hand. Four groaned and went boneless. He was being taken apart and Eric was lovinging it. He loved making the normally quiet and reserved man whimper and cry out. He took hold of his sensitive nipple in his mouth and lapped at it. The man above him shuddered. This was to hot for him. Four grabbed the edge of Eric's t shirt and helped him pull it over his head.

Four marveled at all of his tattoos before kissing his way down to Eric's chest. He didnt want to be the only one feeling unhinged, so he did his best trying to make Eric feel good. He matched the way Eric's mouth played with him, and he yanked Eric's pants and boxers down. His cock jumped out, drooling and hard. Eric's groan stuck in his throat with the freedom. Four looked up from where he was torturing Eric's peirced nipples, Eric couldnt belive how hot Four looked, his eyes were smoldering and lips red and glistening. Four kept his eyes of the other man's bright ones as he laved his tongue over the abused bud before going further down.

Four looked at Eric's cock, he was thick and throbbing. He had a much better idea of how to make his partner cum. He lapped at his head and Eric groaned above him. He made eye contact up at him as he took his cock as deep as he could before hitting the back of his throat. Eric kept a hand over his mouth. Four loved the way he looked unkept, his hair was a mess and he was so red. He felt more comfertable in his position than the last time, and he began bobbing his head up and down, stoking the area where his mouth couldn't comfortably go. Eric was falling apart, he buried his hands in Four's hair, Four enjoyed the pain from the other man pulling in response to him sucking on his head. Four noticed the man moan louder and louder as his cock throbbed on his tongue before he was forced off. Eric was panting and groaned at the sight of Four. his lips were red and puffy and there was a string of saliva running from the head of his cock to Four's tongue.

"Fuck, come here." Eric grunted. He flipped them both over and pulled down Four's pants. His cock was red and drooling, he had been griding against the matress as he sucked on Eric's cock. Eric placed himself between Four's legs and began expertly playing with his dick. He was soft and teasing at first, playing with the tip and licking slowly down his shaft to his sensitive balls. He kept that up until Four just couldn't stand it anymore.

"Eric, please! I need more." he felt the other man smile, before his pressed his legs up and started licking him from hole to the tip of his cock. Four saw stars and bucked up. Eric loved this reaction, he wanted to taste all of his lover and he did. He played with his hole, his balls, his cock. He wanted him to feel good. It was probably the knowllege that he wouldn't be able to be this close to him for a very long time, but Eric felt like he wanted to bury himself into the other man. Four had been mumbling as Eric kept playing with him, teasing his sensitve places. But he heard a choked sound above him. He looked up through the man's thighs and saw something that made his heart stop.

Four was looking down at him, his hand was over his mouth and in the dim light Eric could see bright streaks of tears. He stopped and crawled up back to face Four. Four clung to him and he felt his chest lurch as he kept his sobs in. He pressed his face into the other man's collorbone. Hot shame washed over him as he thought about how he was ruining the mood.

"Hey what's wrong?" Eric's voice was soft, and it made Four feel even more like hiding. He caught his breath enough to look at the other man. He knew his eyes were red rimmed and glassy. He never would have shown this sort of vaulnerablily with anyone who wasn't Eric at this point, not even his friends, and that scared Four. He didn't say anything, but pressed his lips to Eric's. He was so hot that the closeness was suffocating, but he grinded against Eric. He needed this like water, Eric made him like this and he just needed him.

"Don't stop." Four breathed into Eric's ear. He was overwhelming, the pain in his body, the feeling of Eric's skin on his own, the boiling hot tears rolling down his cheeks. He needed to come to completion before he would explode. Eric must have understood, he didn't try to push it on Four and he turned so they layed together on their sides, face to face. Eric clasped their cocks together in one hand and stroked. Four choked out a sob and mummbled into Eric's cheek how it felt so good, and not to stop over and over. Four kept his hands wandering over Eric's body, trying to memorise every peice of it.

After a few strokes Four felt the edge coming and he raced towards it. He thrust into Eric's hand and moaned "I love you, i love you, i love you." A plea into Eric's waiting lips, he said it so many times it turned into a slured line of dioalouge. Eric whispered words of love to Four as he ripped through his own orgasm, his free hand at the back of Four's neck. The sound of Eric's low baritone voice moaning echoing in his chest and the feeling of his hot cum on Four's pulsing cock made Four reach his orgasm. It was like a pulsing explosion lasting more than a minute. Hot cum spilled out of his cock and over Eric's pumping hand, Four went stiff and choked on a scream. He bucked into Eric's hand and his moans were rough through the after shocks.

Once they both came down they lay there next to eachother, catching their breaths in the quiet room. Four couldn't stand to know what Eric would think of him and he didn't want to see his face, so he turned his head into his pillow. Eric pulled his hand through the other man's hair and kissed his neck as soft as he could, like he would break him if he were too rough. Eric noticed that Four had gone limp. He was no longer crying anymore, but Eric knew he wasn't okay. So he pulled himself close to Four. They lay there for a long time, Eric running a hand through Four's hair and down his back, whispering soft words to his ear. They clung to each other like many lovers do before they must be away from eachother.

Four looked into Eric's eyes finally. Four never knew Eric to be patient, but he was acting marvously so now. His eyes were dry but still red. Four was about to say something then stopped. What would he want to say to Eric now? He didn't want him to leave with something heavy, so he kissed his face. His lips, cheeks, eyes, jaw, the tattoos on his neck. Eric sighed into Four's hair. "You smell nice." Four laughed into Eric's neck. They stayed like that for a while longer. That light, sleepy space where neither of them spoke or else they would break the spell.

There was a beeping from Eric's wrist. His watch was cherping. They looked at eachother for a second before Eric sat up and swore.

"I'm- I'm sorry. I have a meeting." Eric rushed to pull on his pants and grab his tshirt. Four followed him. He understood, if Eric missed a meeting, someone would go looking for him, and if that perosn found him here, it would put Four in more danger. Four felt the ache in his body again as he thought about what might happen to him that happened. Eric had pulled on his shoes when he stopped and started at Four in a way Four hadn't seen in a while. It was questioning and soft, something was being asked of Four.

Four could not read it, but he pulled Eric to himself, resting himself against the other man. He could hear his heart beat. He wanted to keep his scent near him until he had to be away from him.

"Four, I have to go. I love you." Eric said into Four's hair. Four nodded into his chest before stepping away and finding Eric's blue eyes.

"I'll wait for you Eric." Eric nodded, and stepped out. And then he was alone.

Four was left in his room, cold and alone with the faintest smell of coffee and dust in his nose. He was numb all over for a moment, and then an avalance of emotion hit him. He wouldn't be able to be near Eric again for at least... he had no idea. Something that he just had in his grasp, something he never knew he wanted was snatched away from him. The loss hit him like a smake in the face.

As that truly sank in and he sat at his table, his breakfast was left there ignored. Gasping for breath that wasn't there, his face burning, chest closing in on itself, feeling cold and hot all at once, Four put his head in his hands and wept for all he had lost that morning.

 **please comment!**


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